"he’s 24 months old" bitch your son is two

um, like a few million of you still aren’t following me? ? lol weird

(Source: dialupmodem)


I’m on a new diet called don’t fucking look at me

  • parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!
  • clock: 11:01
  • me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now


*tries to be funny and gets assassinated*

(Source: panerasexual)